</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
withit said:
Still, why is it so damn scary to ask t for what I want! Oh well, it's certainly a relationship pattern...lol...just realized that....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Well, for me it's a pattern of being rejected many times throughout my life. Also, I don't think anyone has asked me what my needs are before. It floored me that T asked me that. It's as if I don't feel worthy of having my needs asked about, like I'm a bug and why would anyone ask what a bug needs? So, I have a hard time coming right out and saying what I need to T. Sometimes he can get it from me through more oblique means. He is also very perceptive so he can do a good job even without my telling him. I think I am getting better at this. You often don't get what you need unless you ask. I've done this a few times lately with others in my life and actually did get some of my needs fulfilled. Afterwards, I remember thinking, how this may be the first time I had ever done that before, and was it really so hard?