Listening is most helpful, Bluegrey. Having somewhere just to vent helps to manage some of the overwhelm. Especially while T is away.

The physiotherapist i saw this week was great, but she's the team leader and only covered urgent cases over the holiday break. I'll be seeing someone else from next week onwards, but the team leader said she'll sit in the first time to make sure the new physio's technique is right and I'm feeling okay - which is really kind of her.

Part of the reason i'm finding physio so confronting is that after just two questions from the physio, i realised there's a clear link between this injury and a particular kind of 'discipline' my mother used frequently. I've spent a lifetime making sense of my childhood by glossing over things and saying it can't have been abuse because no bones were broken, but it turns out there is something 'broken' in my neck due to repeated trauma.

Somehow I have to make sense of that.