Do you feel like you're alone, but then someone speaks to you, yet you still feel alone but clearly you're not, but you keep on thinking like that because you think everyone will eventually leave, because you're not enough for them, and they don't care much either? The thought of "they don't care about me" i find it so self-centered, the truth is i don't really care about them, i really fear being alone but i want to be alone so i don't have to think about anything? But then i am alone and i find it absolutely terrifying. When the "they don't care about me" thought pops out in my mind i usually think "well, that's what i deserve for being so... Me" What can i do? It's really hurting my boyfriend, and i don't even know if it's that i don't love him, or that he'd be better without me, or that i'm so empty that it's pointless, i won't feel any better. I wish i could make someone happy, i wish i could stop just wandering around and watching how people's lives change when mine is stuck, and everything i do is pointless.

I apologize for the possible mistakes in this text, english is not my mother language.

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