Quote:
Originally Posted by Petra5ed
Not really good at confrontation. I've told him a bit I'm angry, about how the comment hurt me. I haven't mentioned the lateness. I think I'm afraid he'll hate me if I complain too much. I'm embarrassed that hearing about his family hurts me so much. Would it bother you? Is that normal? So I've definitely said I'm taking a break, but I have also cried nonstop for the past few days and I feel worse than ever. I thought today, who says I'm just mourning some childhood loss, I'm mourning a current loss. I still have no family, I never will outside my husband. Maybe I'm not just transferring childhood stuff but real current stuff, like I need someone to care about me, I need someone to have a relationship that's not just about the exchange of money for the service of pretending to care.
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Yep, it would definitely bother me, I think I would be really hurt by him talking about how much he loves his wife and kids. I don't even know whether he has kids, he doesn't disclose any personal information. He seems to make a habit of reminding me that he will be spending the break with someone else/other people, and that seems hurtful enough. I suppose he does it to provoke me into discussing my feelings about it, but honestly, the break is enough on it's own to bear.
I agree re transference, I think a lot of it is about a current lack of care too. I still believe a lot of it is connected to my past lack of love but there is definitely a current situation, which is about him and me... I think.