hospital called. they want me to be in next week.

i'm stuck between the two ends - i don't want to be hospitalised, but yet i know i need that place. i'm not looking forward to what comes after i check in though. mom and her words... me fighting for discharge or home visit as my exams are 2 weeks away. i can't possibly skip these exams - it would mean more financial burden for my family. no. i can't.

feeling like it might not make a difference afterall - i would still be stressed over school.

i don't know.
still largely sui and just want to end it all.