yup.... sums it up. I'm constantly trying to stop thinking about how other people find me annoying and ugly and strange ectect.....
and this is really bad when it comes to guys. I honestly don't know how to be... not "just a friend" for the only way I know to connect with people is intellectual.... I'm really anxious when I have kind of crush on somebody.... even if it is just the "I like you" kind... not even any serious emotions involved....
and it terrifies me and I have very bad days of anxiety and crying when it happens.... I recently told a guy that I like him (after a good week of battle with myself) and he kindly and respectfully (for real!) said that he likes me as a friend... and added several very reasonable excuses as to why it wouldn't work out between us....
this in somecase was ok with me, for I really just liked him and all, but now I have hard time to getting off of that image I created about him..... even if I see it is completely illusional and the real guy would very much be a good friend, but not a boyfriend....

and I have this problem all over the place.... I simply freak out when someone is interested in me.... even more if I'm interested in somebody......... which is very much kills everything, because I know it is visible that I'm anxious, tense and emotional....... which is yeah, definetely scares away people (I would scare me)...