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I feel like I can't live; I feel like my life cannot go on. It is too big for me. My heart is pounding and all I can see is myself hanging (and I am so sorry that is so graphic but that is just what I see, feel even, so frequently over the past week). I can't shake it. I don't want to die but I am so ready to sneak off at night, lock myself in a bedroom so that only my husband will find me, and end it. My mind is brutal.
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Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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