Imah, I think you are feeling suspicious of me. Because I am insane. I think most everyone on here hates me. I think I am a bubbling idiot. I think my mind hates me. I think I phlucking need to die. I think I don't normally swear. I think my family would be SO much better without the burden of me. I think if my husband replaced me, my kids would have so much better of a mother. I think I am nearly constantly in crisis mode anymore. I think my body and my mind hate me. I think this panic needs to stop. I think it just needs to end. I think maybe today is a REALLY bad day and I pray tomorrow will be better. I think all of this posting is COMPLETELY unnecessary but I can't seem to stop. I think I am screaming on the inside and hiding on the outside. I think I should become a recluse again. I think I should just cry and never stop. But, I can't. I don't understand why I am so negative. I think I have no idea what the he** is happening to me. But that happens often. Maybe not this badly? I don't even know anymore. I know if I showed this to my husband he would be like wth is wrong with my wife. I did tell him yesterday how I am feeling. He raised his voice and became upset with me and asked me angrily if I was threatening suicide. I feel awful.