My T and Pdoc mostly want me going in w/o prior knowledge because they say I already know toomany skills, but I don't use them when I actually need to
So they're hoping by learning these skills and using them at the same time, I'll use them more often. They also want me to go to DBT just to socialize
So I did think of a question... You got to group and are taught skills. You talk about your homeworks in group? And then you're given more homework. And you process group with individual T? Is that right? If that's right, then I only have to disclose to my own T? That would be awesome considering she already knows everything about me and I know for sure she won't judge me.
One of my fears about disclosure is my suicidal ideation. People tend to over react. It still worries my T, but she knows I will reach out before things get bad. County doesn't know me, and I fear them over reacting and sending me to the hospital.
I also have other questions... How was everyone seated? In desks? Chairs? In a circle? Could you sit away from people if you wanted? How many people were in your group? Men and women? Was the T an actual T? Does it have to be an actual T or could it be an intern? Are you expected to touch? Like some groups hold hands and say some sort of mantra.
How long was the group session? How long does a module take? My Pdoc is on maternity leave so I kinda have 3 months unless I choose to stay longer. Can you join in the middle of a module? Is everyone on the same module? I'm guessing there's no "fast track"
Was a Pdoc part of your group treatment team? If so, did you have to see him/her before starting group? They said I won't see their Pdoc for another 4-6 weeks. But it's not like I personally need to see the Pdoc since I'm already stable on my meds.
Funny you mentioned the pink elephant. My T taught me a little about ACT and how you don't fight thoughtsand feelings, but acknowledge them. So I went out and bought a little pink elephant and put it on a bracelet to remind me to acknowledge the pink elephant
I'm not worried too much about the learning part. The only thing is that I tend to quit things if I don't do them perfectly. But I'm sure my T will help with that. She's always reminding me that I don't have to be an A student in any area of life (she's a teacher
). But I am willing to give it 100% effort with learning the skills. I mean, what's there to lose? You always gain when it comes to learning, even if you decide you don't agree. And DBT is "supposed" to ve really beneficial for my symptoms. And I also have an appreciation for Buddhist concepts.
I think I'm just worried about the environment and the people. I worry about not feeling safe. And I worry about respect: respect for my boundaries and respect for my T and Pdoc. While I might be a client of the county, my treatment isn't them...it's my T and Pdoc. I also worry that because it's county that they won't be doing DBT appropriately.
I actually just need this group to start already, so I can stop worrying and know what I'm dealing with. Then I'll be able to cope and make decisions instead of sitting here coming up with the worst scenarios. I hope the lady who does my assessment will answer some of my questions. The good thing about seeing her is that it has given me something to do. I have already printed up my entire mental health history, as well as, current information. And I picked up a packet of paperstoday that she wants filled out for when I see her. I just need an active role.
Well, I think I came up with a "few" questions
I appreciate you helping me with this. It's scary to go into the unknown. And for me, it's scary to be around people and at county. Explaining your experience and just being able to express my concerns is somewhat comforting.
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Originally Posted by NowhereUSA
Yes. I can actually think of several skills for each of the bolded ones that would be useful.
I can understand why they don't want you reading ahead. The workbook for the most part gives a summary of the skills and yet some of them, if you just read them, don't make complete sense and for others you can bring an interpretation to them that isn't accurate. Having someone walk through them is incredibly helpful for really getting what's being said.
One of the things I've appreciated about DBT is the positive attitude towards me. In my particular group, we were told at the beginning that the therapists running it believed we were doing the best we could with what we had. No judgments. In fact, that non-judgmental attitude is core to DBT. It's not falsely affirming, but when people have believed the worst about you, it's refreshing to have people believe the best even if you're a complete mess. I've felt incredibly safe myself because I don't have to self-disclose what I don't want to (and my unsafe behaviors aren't to be disclosed anyway), and my boundaries are respected in that. I've had weeks where I've shared homework and I've said, "I don't really want to go into details. This skill helped me ride out my urge to do my target behavior and I think it helped." or "I don't really want to go into anymore detail, but I had trouble with this skill. I tried it and I ended up doing my target behavior." Then usually I'll get some feedback, maybe some general clarifying questions about my skill use and often times at the very least a "Thanks for being willing to try."
I will say the skills aren't easy. It really does take time, but I do think they're worth it. Idk. It's like... it's like people my whole life would be like, "Just don't worry."
How the hell do you not worry? I didn't even grasp how to function with my high anxiety. It felt a lot like people telling me not to think of a pink elephant.
What DBT has done has helped me get more in touch with what I'm feeling so I'm aware of it and know how to function with it.
I'll avoid answering any specific skills/module questions but if you have general questions I can help there.
The important thing is to be willing. Even if you struggle through that, hell I still struggle with it, if you can go in with a sense of willingness to try try and try again, you'll get the most out of it.
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