I know how you feel. You would think if it didn't work the first time around, or the second, or the fifteenth, you would have given up on him. But you don't. You keep pushing the inevitable. Do you try to meet other people? Do you get out enough to meet others? In my case, I am pretty sheltered and I have a hard time trusting people to try and get to know somebody else. I have gotten involved with my exes because it's familiar and I am comfortable with them, even though they haven't always been the nicest to me or they weren't right for me, I push the inevitable because I am afraid to be alone. Even though sometimes I enjoy being alone. But it sucks to be lonely.