It sounds as though you have put a lot of thought into the beginning and end of this relationship.

Kudos to you for examining how your behavior may have affected things. I see it as rather brave of you to admit that your actions weren't "perfect".

Two quick things I wanted to say: 1.) You are human. We all make mistakes. Try to use what you learned from this experience in future relationships. 2.) In my experience, men typically don't put half of the thought and effort (that women often do) into romantic relationships. Not saying that they don't care...they do. But, men usually continue to uphold other relationships and interests. Whereas women often drop most other relationships and give all of their interest towards their man.

Hopefully, you will be able to be yourself with whomever you are with. You shouldn't have to hide who you are; your feelings should not have to be stifled inside. Very best wishes sent to you.