Sunny said:

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I guess maybe I'm in the minority here,

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I should elaborate.

Now that the disclosure has been put out there, I am not uncomfortable with it. However, that was my initial reaction. You see, my mind sort of plays a little game: if I don't know about T's personal life, then he doesn't exist for real. If he doesn't exist for real, then he can't hurt me, abandon me, require me to respond emotionally, etc.

I think T knows this about me.

It's like this. During one of the first few sessions i found out he sends his kids to a school my oldest son went to. At first I was so happy because I felt it gave us a common bond. After a week or so I was upset because it humanized him and I didn't want that common bond. Now, I'm back to being happy about it. It's just a carousel that my mind creates.

Hmmm, another thought. Maybe the human aspect takes him off the pedestal I have put him on. He becomes just like me--that is, trudging through the muck and the mire. The net effect of that is the realization that there is no magic bullet, magic wand, magic words that he can employ to fix me or take away my pain and my problems. Ohhhh, this is definitely part of it.

Darn, I hate it when that happens.