Yesterday i saw someone who i didn't saw in a while, i have feelings for that person. That person abandoned me, traded me for other people, i knew that but yesterday i took with it in the face for the first time, the emotions i felt were so strong i even had dissociation.

Now i can't take that image of my mind, i feel something very strong inside me i can't even tell what but its like a cold sensation in my chest it feel suffocating and even though im not crying i feel like i am. Maybe i am crying on the inside? Im just tired of all these emotions, i feel like im getting consumed by them, like im about to lose myself.

Im just tired of everything, tired of feeling...

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Update: I was in bed looking at the ceiling, i could not handle the emotion and for 1 minute i made my pillow all wet with tears. Long time since i last cryed didn't even remember how it felt... now i do.

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2nd Update: More than 30 minutes have passed, crying released my negative emotion a bit, but for some reason i lost my strenght, i feel dizzy like im about to vomit.