try not to let him have control, he's entered the extreme stage like the false judging and guilt tripping, and threatening. hes trying to regain what control he thought he had over you. he's giving it his all to reel you back in. stay strong, and try to give it your all (in getting away). You are entitled to live a happy life. you are entitled to your own thoughts, needs, wants, wishes, your own life. You are entitled the right to not live in fear, and to live for you and your children. He is not entitled to live your life, and he is not entitled to do what he is doing. he is not entitled to own you. You are entitled to live in a safe area, and you are not the one being selfish here (its him, who is being selfish).
a "selfish" person wouldnt be feeling bad right now. they wouldnt even think twice about what he said.. hes the one who is being selfish. ... the fact that you care, shows that youre not selfish.
You're the complete opposite of selfish.
he's loosing his grip on you, and that (along with the other abuse) is a tactic the abuser will use to try and regain the control that they had on a person. and these tactics are abuse too.
im sorry if i came off harsh, i feel for you, and i hate what hes doing and have done..

my mother is one who ends back up with my step father. she was able to finally explain "why" she does, a few months back. it's because she feels like she some how deserves that(like she did something that caused it all), and when she does get away, she feels "weird" when she has anyone treating her nice and with respect.
my step father has control over her to where she doesnt have any way out, and she has no money to get away, and she relies on him completely. even when we've tried to set up a support system for her, it would end up with either, him, his parents, or his friends being added into the support system. he also started "charming her" with lies that he would get help, or that he was getting help, or that he needed her...

He doesnt deserve to have you, and hes being selfish for that, and for not respecting your needs, and respecting you as a person.
You are so strong and so brave!

domestic violence hotlines (and others that help) can also keep you and your children safe. they can help file for an emergency protective order against him for you and your children.(sometimes called a "no contact order"). and after that, if he even comes near you, your children, or areas such as your work, places that you frequently are at, or tries to call or have anyone else communicate to you, about him/for him, then the cops will come and step in, and keep both you and your children safe. (and having a pocket recorder on you, ready to turn on at any minute, can also help. )