Thanks for the replies...had I not been in a "safe place" to feel emotional this morning I probably never would have wrote it. Yes, I know the problem is MY feelings....I wish I didn't care, honestly! Jealousy seems like such a dirty word to me, I really feel pathetic feeling that emotion. I try not to at all costs. But oh yeah, I identified it right away, and realize that's what it is. No issue there. But knowing that's what it is certainly doesn't make me feel any better about it. I have so many things I need to be working on in therapy, but this is one topic that we tend to eventually shy away from. I'll bring it up, but we don't talk about it a great deal. I know I'm suffering there. At my age, all I feel is disgust. At this point, I really don't want to care anymore...I want to walk away with my head held high and not be reminded of what I missed out on, how badly my life sucked...and just move on from here. I know it doesn't work that way...but it would sure be nice if it did. My marriage is only the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot more. In fact, a lot of it probably had something to do with me choosing the wrong person as it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeCharmer
Honestly, darling, the problem is not that your T talks about her daughter. The problem is you feel envious and jealous and unloved and probably unlovable. Getting your T to never mention she's the mother of a loved daughter won't address the real issue of your emotions.
You suffer from jealousy and envy, you feel unloved and unlovable, you know it, you've identified it well and what triggers it. That's good. You're miles ahead of most people who suffer from envy and jealousy.
Now, please consider telling your T you want to work on yourself, on your own emotional reactions, not that you want to make her change so you don't have to think about it.
I wish you well in the New Year and hope this will be the year when you begin to know in your soul that you're amazing in your own right.  |