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Old Jan 03, 2015, 05:13 PM
Anonymous50005
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Constantly. I don't think that terminology ever was used, but essentially that is what it all boiled down to. As the result of very early trauma, I never felt comfortable in my own skin, never felt real, always felt very broken, flawed, and damaged.

All of my therapy has in some way, shape, or form been working on those old perceptions of myself -- misperceptions. My current therapist is very behaviorist in his approach -- not a hardfast CBT therapist, but very much uses aspects of various behavioral therapies such as CBT, REBT, DBT, etc. He is very eclectic, which I prefer, and uses what he feels most appropriate to whatever presents as the issue, including those plus psychodynamic work, Gestalt, etc. So, "What kind of therapy was it?" -- the one that worked best at the time.

Much of the work surrounding my mistaken beliefs (core beliefs) about myself is very REBT/CBT in approach, but he wasn't the type to pull our worksheets or analyze every thought distortion (that would have driven me crazy); he was much more real than that and we did a great deal of deep work surrounding my history and the origins of those beliefs (many people claim you can't do "deep" work in behavioral therapy, but I suspect they were in very standard, step-by-step CBT).

It took many years to unravel where that "false" self (as you call it) had come from, and probably almost as many years to really figure out who was my "true" self. I have finally gotten there, but it was a long, slow process.
Thanks for this!
BonnieJean