Hi AstridLovelight,

I have had the same problem. Currently I take Alprazolam, Seroquel, and a bunch of others. For me, everything is a trigger (positive or negative). For example, I've always been into music, so when I hear a song I go right back to what was happening in my life when I first heard the song. This afternoon I played a CD (Depeche Mode), and I immediately went back to 1988 (a time when I was in terrible relationship).

I don't want to get all Fung Shwayish (I have no idea how to spell that), but this is what helps me. When I take meds, I light candles, put on music that triggers me positively (I put Bleachers on), and so on.

This kind of positive vibe has made my meds easier to swallow (pun intended ;-)).

I realize that you're going through hell, and I'm not trying to candy coat this.

This type of Fung-Shwayish stuff has helped me.

I hope this helps.