I have a therapist already and I've briefly mentioned wanting a relationship with a guy to her in passing. She basically asked where I saw myself in 5 years and I said "Living in an apartment on my own, being fully independent, and working as a Vet Tech at a local vet clinic."

She said I had set healthy goals and because I wasn't focusing all my energy on seeking relationships, that I was doing well.

I don't want to go back and say I may have glossed over the fact that I wanted a relationship back then for two reasons. One, I'd have to admit I wasn't being fully honest to her, and two, I'm finding that the empty void I thought that could only be filled with love from another, is now filled with my own joy and happiness. That's not to say I don't require a relationship. I just don't have that insanely obsessive drive to get one, a drive that I guess was the soul reason I was repelling guys away from me like some sort of bug spray, but for guys instead of bugs.

Now my goal is to be myself, which I think, if I were to describe myself in a few words would be kind, spontaneous, quirky, offbeat, and just plain fun. I find myself singing or humming to songs in my head, and sometimes even spontaneously breaking out into dance for the sheer joy of it. I even serenade my lovely furry companions with my dulcet tones on a regular basis, not to toot my own horn or anything.

I have this idea that if I act this way, like my true self, then my quirky upbeat brand of joy will touch some lucky guy's heart and they will be instantly hooked, addicted even, to it and be forever wanting more. I'm basically saying that I will make a guy so intrigued by my happy energy, that they will want to have it be part of their life, maybe permanently if the case were to allow.

So yeah, I'm at the stage of my battle with depression where I've finally "snapped" out of it and am discovering my true self, as it's been like, forever, since I last felt this way. It's high time I become reacquainted with my true self. Dontcha think?

So yeah, if you see a red haired, blue eyed curvaceous woman singing out loud in a store, that would be me. Oh, and feel free to join in. I am always looking to expand my social horizons. Maybe we could make a duet, or, if enough of you are present, a choir? Wouldn't that be fun? Just randomly joining up and singing together at some place like a Best Buy? Let's do it!!