I was in the hospital 3 times in March and May 2013. It's been like a year or two now, but lately I've been having such bad anxiety and depression that I just want to go back to make sure I don't do anything stupid. This morning I got super upset because I had this awesome breakfast planned and when I got to making the eggs, they were one brand of eggs in the wrong box, so to me it was deemed that the eggs were bad and I couldn't eat them, this my breakfast ruined. I was blubbering in tears like a little baby, and I was alone. I went in my room and like "stabbed" the office chair with my phone and shoved the chair into a bookshelf and nightstand, causing the lamp to tip over and everything. My heart was pounding and I thought I was going crazy. I was crying because I can't take the worry and anxiety anymore.
I was prescribed Buspirone like a year ago, but still haven't taken it. I'm worried about the possible side affects and don't think I'll be able to bring myself to take it unless I'm in the hospital for about a week.
Is it normal to want to go back? What should I do? I'm not brave enough to take this medication on my own and I've got school and college on the line here.
Please and thank you in advance.