Plus, I keep thinking so much of the stuff on here is about me; I don't do these things usually. I am feeling so insecure about it. I wish I was a well liked person. I wish I called my friends back and offered back as much as I suck out of people. I am probably fishing...desperate for attention...but, I honestly don't know how to hold my head above water. I need someone to do it for me. No one can. NO one can. But, it's like, I have to search for someone. I have to seek out someone (someone's words, someone's arms, someone's company) or I will die.
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*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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