What I am reading in "Between Therapist and Client" by Michael Kahn, it is cosidered risky for T to self-disclose because it is seen as interfering, getting in the way. As SecretGarden said, therapy is supposed to be about the client.

"Gill and Kohut strongly imply that the therapist who answers personal questions robs the client of an opportunity to explore the feelings and fantasies that gave rise to the question."

or

"Every question answered is a fantasy lost." from In Session.

It makes sense to me because the minute you know somethng for a fact, you stop wondering about it. The wondering leads to fantasy and reveals more about you (the reasons you wonder and what the conclusions you arive at say about you) rather than having the question answered outright which would reveal about T.

On the other hand, some Ts reveal to demystify the therapist and the process. Like sunny said, it makes the T more human, more real and Kohut says not revealing may make the client feel rejection by the T so that must be considered client by client.

Personally, I have had both. I do prefer very little self-disclosure because it does distract me. It's one of the ways I avoid thinking about my own stuff, to get others talking about them and getting into their stuff.

This T has an adult daughter and her framed picture is on the desk, facing the room (the desk faces the wall/window). I want to turn it face-down when I go in there. I don't want her in there with us!! lol Sibling rivalry?

I think T's self-disclosure is an individual thing and majority or minority don't matter a whit. It's just what you and T are comfrotable with, what you prefer.


ECHOES