Why aren't you filing for divorce? Why are you continuing to live like this? Why are you waiting for him to make the first move?

I lived like that for 13 years before I was finally financially able to leave because of the horrible debt situation he got us into. Splitting up the mess he caused would have been horrible & the house was upside down at the time also & I wasn't in a good state to force a bankruptcy as I had horrible migraines that made me so sick I couldn't even think straight.

It was just easier to stay & exist in the same house but that's all it was was existing. When my mother died, I took my inheritance & used it to leave & buy my own farm 2100 miles away from where he is. It was the best thing I ever did. Some research I've done to try & figure out what was going on in the marriage showed me that he's got Asperger's & there is no discussing with him about anything. When something stresses him, he ignores that it exists like he did with the IRS. Life was HELL living with him.....the only thing that's good is that I no longer have to have anything to do with him except when I try to get the divorce & I left him the car I owned to drive which died & he managed to destroy the paperwork so I'm having problems getting the information I need from the DMV so I can scrap the car....it's not easy taking care of anything from 2100 miles away & he's not mentally capable of dealing with anything.

I honestly hate not being divorced because I don't have protection against his financial irresponsibility.....but I love not having to have anything to do with him or see him on a daily basis even though like you I lived in my own area of the house so I really never had to have anything to do with him.

Leaving was the best thing I ever did because I was finally able to look back at the reality of the whole bad marriage & get some perspective on what was going on & realize just how totally dysfunctional he is....I realize it wasn't me that was the problem because I now have a wonderful life surrounded by wonderful supportive people......something I never had in my marriage was support because he was incapable of providing that in the marriage.....

Leave & you can finally see the forest because you are outside of all the massive number of trees.