Sorry you are struggling. I know how you feel. I have made some very poor financial decisions in my life. I lost two jobs in a row two years ago due to depression. Since then I have just done a lot of side work and that has only been in the past nine months. The year and a half before that I could barely get out of bed. I barely held it together at work for three months before I just couldn't make it in.

Reach out for help as much as you can while you are still able to function to a certain degree. It may help very much. In my case it didn't. I got all kinds of help during that period when I got fired and it didn't help. Even TMS. But you never know. Nine months ago a new med worked. This time of year would normally be my absolute worst and I would be in a deep depression. this year I am not. The meds and therapy are working. I had a great holiday. We have to keep trying and we need lots of help.