Sometimes I get so insecure, and have to ask myself...do I have real depression? Am I truly depressed? Or am I too young/making excuses/looking for pity/just weak? After all, I read so many stories, here and elsewhere, by people who have it so bad they can't even find the strength to get out of bed in the morning. No doubt those people are truly depressed... but what am I then? I get up each morning, and I shower daily. But that's all I do. I never go out. I stay in pajamas all day and spend three-fourths of my time online. I have no purpose or direction. Often I can't motivate myself to even clean my room - how will I ever get a job and learn to live on my own? I think of my future and see nothing but a blank wall. Nothing.

I keep telling myself, you need to just get out of there, and you will feel a lot better. But I think a little deeper into it, and realize - no. I may feel better, but the cloud will still be hanging over my head and waiting to rain on me. And it will rain, eventually. And no, it will not help the flowers grow, and no, it won't be followed by sunshine. There will always be clouds, even in the absence of rain.

Sometimes I wonder what's the point. I feel so bleak and hopeless.

What am I, if not depressed?