Steve, self hatred and loathing seem to be a result of early discouragement or punishment from following our natural tendencies, our path through life. So many times you brave the possibility of rejection and say I want to do __________

All to often the response is you can't do that! So instead of following the natural pathway to where we are going, we end up in some deadend road to lower self esteem.

These articles might suggest pathways to higher self esteem
Psych Central - Search results for Self-esteem
This forum might be of interest
Steps to Better Self-Esteem - Forums at Psych Central

All the best to you