Ok. Some of this is venting, and some of this is checking to see if it's 'normal' to feel this way.
My T was away over the holidays and the way I've felt about this has kind of swung about. From being totally not bothered to longing for even just the physical contact (even if he just ignored me).
We've had breaks before, but usually only one week here and there. This one has been 3! What's worse is that just before our last session something horrible happened to me and we barely scratched the surface. I was left with a (metaphorical) open wound. The last few weeks are when I could really have done with the support. It's been so hard.
It's now 3 and a half days until I go back and I'm torn between part of me that wants to run in and hug T, and part that's saying "no, he left you when you needed him most". I know both these feelings are irrational, but as Thursday gets closer they are both pulling stronger. That on top of what happened and how crappy I've been feeling is ... is keeping me deep inside my dark place.
How do unavoidable breaks from T make other people feel?
Does it swich or stay constant?
Does it change when you go back?