Tomorrow I'm going to school after 6 weeks of being off over Christmas and I feel really bad. I have an exam soon on speaking skills and I was meant to prepare that but stupid lazy me didn't do it and now I have nothing and it's too late to do anything about it. I also have to draw or paint 6 pictures and 2 artists copies for Art tomorrow... I haven't done that either. I just procrastinate to the point that if I try and do it, I have to cram it into a tiny time frame. This just gives me doubt that I can't do it so I don't try. If I do, it feels like I'm made of lead and I feel like crying before I even start. I would rather stay in a fine emotional state and get a detention than crying my eyes out and feeling and looking disgusting the next day.

Another things that makes me nervous is getting back into being social. I have spent pretty much all of the time sitting in my room not speaking to anyone. Now tomorrow I will be bombarded with crowds, loud noise and questions which I'm not used to. I felt so anxious the past few days and today I felt physically sick. I was going to make myself a stress ball to fit in my pocket but I didn't have the correct things to make it so I'll just have to put up with blu tack.

I don't know what I want from posting this. Someone to tell me they're the same?

I don't know.