I finally got my job application submitted, I should hear within three to four weeks. I just want some stability and having to apply for jobs isn't part of that picture. I do feel a sense of achievement having done the application but I also feel stupid and dumb for finding it so hard.

I have been on a real downer this past few weeks, I think maybe that is begining to lift a little, but as always any change is fragile and I feel far more vulnerable when my mood stabilises than I do when I am on a downer.