Thank you for the replies! I agree that he doesn't quite see the urgency because he has been paying the bills using money he had from something, I think a combination of money he saved, plus money he had his dad gave him or something. I believe that he indeed will not panic until the reality is that money is gone. I agree that there should be more to the relationship than him being provider and me mother, but there are other issues and honestly, I could write a novel, but if I can explain what is getting to me. Our daughter has social and emotional issues and has been diagnosed as depressed. I am paying (discounted) to have her at a school that I believe supports her in the best way. Even her therapist agreed if we could pay it to do it. Well, I am paying every cent for her to go there. I guess I am feeling resentful. To be fair, he has been applying for jobs but just getting nowhere, and he won't really apply for anything he feels is not 'him.' My opinion is beggars can't be choosers. He also pays the lotto at $20 per week, meanwhile I am taking on extra work to help pay DDs fees. It's all making me feel SO resentful. I am not a stay at home mom and never have been. I am out there working to put food on the table and to be quite honest there was a time when I almost quit because I was so stressed, but I just couldn't have done that and left him in the lurch financially like that.
I totally get that he may be depressed, and I can try somehow to suggest he go see someone, but I will say that with all DD's appointments, and the fact our new health coverage pays nothing, I don't see him doing it. I can but try. Thanks again.
PS I haven't been nagging, but the problem is that I am finding it hard to cope with the underlying resentment that is building up over him spending money while I am working harder than ever to pay for things.
Our marriage was already really rocky and we were meant to be focusing on that, but I told him, I'm so stressed and worried about what we are going to do money wise that I can't even concentrate on building a loving relationship. He said eventually, if he doesn't get something, we'll have to sell our house. I just wish he'd have thought it through and not quit the other one without a good few months of applying for jobs while he still had the old one.