To be quite honest, I'm getting the most confused right now, as if my own personality were breaking. As if I did not know who I am anymore. I'm trying to find ways to deal with this, nothing too bad, I'm not resorting to illegal drugs or drinking or smoking, I am not even interested in those.

I don't know if I can say this here, but I'm starting to think I might have been misdiagnosed. Yes, I am feeling all that. But something has also grown inside me. A kind of need. It's strong. It's like I want to kill. Not animals. People. I find this idea repulsive, but it keeps coming back to my mind endlessly. I don't know what to do.

I'm afraid I might be on the verge of a psychotic break if I'm right about being misdiagnosed, and a trigger might have been graduating from High School. I don't know if I was prepared to leave.

This just gets me more and more lost about what on Earth is going on with me. Hope is being lost every day independently, but there always is. But this feeling of basically knowing nothing given all that I've been thinking about is worse. How can I hope to treat when I don't know what I am dealing with?

Thank you. I am sorry about something I might have said, I vented a little.