Rough day. Big triggers suck and flashbacks suck, too. But i did a couple of things slightly differently this year and that made a tiny positive difference. And this particular day is nearly over now.

Met with Pdoc and care manager this afternoon (that was one of the different things - usually this is a day when I isolate entirely). It surprised me how helpful it was to say, out loud, "i don't want to go to physio!" And to hear them say, out loud, that it makes sense and they understand and would feel the same in my position.

I have to go. Well, i could cancel, but then i'd only have to go some other day, so it seems a bit pointless. Still dreading it, though. The pain is excruciating at times, and the dizzy spells are frightening, but I'm still more afraid of the physio, and of falling apart before, during or after.

At least i know i can call my care manager afterwards for some extra support. And email my T. And even better, i get to see T on Thursday. Looking forward to it, and I know he is, too.