Considering what happened in your last session, I'd say what you're feeling about your therapist's absence is pretty normal. If you look at from the angle of your therapist being the person who is the warm (empathetic) and steady (calm) person in your life, the one who is the reliable witness to your story, and just when you reach a level of trust that allows you to open up about a traumatic event in your life and then that person isn't there for a period of time, I'd say your reaction is pretty darn normal! It's a good idea to remember that when children and often adults undergo a traumatic event, they are often alone and isolated (physically and/or emotionally). It is when we have an empathetic witness to be there with us to process that traumatic event that we experience relief (catharsis). When you felt alone and without your therapist to continue the processing journey you felt Connection Distress. It's that wanting that connection and rejecting that connection that distresses us and causes confusion. This is especially painful for people who learned that talking about their emotions were taboo in their family. If you've always struggled to contain your emotions without support (and were shamed when it was a struggle to do so) and suddenly the wonderful support that has stood beside you with a calm and soothing presence (your therapist) goes off on vacation, it can pretty uncomfortable. Dependency of this type is not a bad thing. It's expected and welcomed because it can lead to real healing.

It's great that you have recognized this wild swinging between two needs. The next critical step toward healing is to talk about these feelings openly and honestly with your therapist--not an easy thing to do but a critical one! If your therapist is well trained and sensitive, empathetic and unflappable, he'll get what you're telling him and he'll help you wade through the emotions effectively. I know the thought of discussing this openly is hard, but it is the only way through!