Don't give up on therapy, although definitely address it this with your T... who knows how many other clients have had their partners listen to them?

Your bf trying to turn your words around, by saying that you were being belitting by using the term snoop? That is manipulation, made to put YOU into the guilty role... when you did nothing wrong in this situation. He is the one in a guilty role, as he decided to listen to your entire session. It's natural to listen in for a minute - it might even take that long to process that you're accidentally overhearing someone's session. But the appropriate reaction is NOT to listen to the entire thing... it's to either a) knock and alert them to the issue or b) move far enough away that you can no longer hear it.

Honestly? I would start looking for options on where to go outside of where he lives. It doesn't mean that you need or should move out, but it sounds like having a plan ready could be a good idea.

Now, while some of your past would have likely ingrained behaviours into you (such as walking on eggshells and being more concerned for someone else's reactions to what you do, etc), your bf does still sound like yes, he is being emotionally abusive. If you moved in with him 3 years ago, you should be feeling better with him, not having your fears and worries intensified.

I'm sorry that your T's non-soundproof room has led to your already-less-than-stellar bf being absolutely less than supportive and appropriate, and that now you feel like you have no where to go. Please, still reach out to your T.