Thank you all for your feedback, and for sharing your related experiences. It was extremely helpful to see if from another perspective and from those who have already been there 'and dun that!". I am forging forward although I must admit that it is hard to remain committed from day to day. I have good days, but I also have many bad ones. On bad days, such as today, I still want to quit and just run away from the dark and depressing life that I sometimes feel trapped in. Even some menial job in a far away land sounds great as it would free me of the expectations that others have placed on me.
Meanwhile, I realize that I have constructed others expectations. Truth be told, I think that most have simply given up on me, or have just settled in to the reality that I will be muddling through this forever....so there are no expectations really, just disappointment. But there goes the negative voice again:-) Seriously though, I do worry about how I am ever going to finish as I am constantly side swiped by my anxiety and depression, just as a try to make some headway. Take today for example. I set my alarm to start at 5 a.m., but I awoke to the darkness and could not get up until 10. This of course, made me feel even worse, and undercut any motivation I had, and so the cycle goes:-(