Thank you all for your wise feedback. Your right Eskilover, in that she does have a choice and I should not sell her short in this regard. And I took think that perhaps I have fallen into this trap of trying to sabotage everything Nature 1968...perhaps because I fear experiencing the pains of failure that I have felt in the past. How did you overcome this tendency? And yes Toolman65, I do think depression was doing some of that writing and that when it comes to children I do need to 'man up' so to speak, as I can not let, or profess to let, my mental health issues determine all of my decisions, as tough as they may be. That excuse is "beneath me"...thank you for that.