Because I want to know why she won't! Why is she so adamant in her placement on the other side of my argument? This is not a hopeful searching of a different understanding on my part. Attaching myself to her to someday absorb her understanding of my struggle. This is me needing to be validated. I need her to tell me that it's okay to be angry at myself! Stop telling me to place blame and upset on those who hurt me alone. Why should I not carry the same burden of guilt?