Not alone in the sense that many of us totally understand where your head is at, but yes, alone by the fact that no one is going to find you "guilty" for having caused your abuse. Only a very warped mind would blame a child for causing their own abuse; the abuser is the one who is guilty of having mistreated, manipulated, and placed you in the horrible circumstance. You are not guilty of having done any wrong.

You feel shame for what you perceive is your culpability in what happened to you, but that is an emotion (and a misplaced one at best). Children don't cause their own abuse. No therapist is going to agree with your misplaced blame on yourself there.

But I get it. So do many of us who have worked through what you are feeling right now.