Tongalee, are you talking about an incident that happened in your childhood ro somthing in your teens, or adulthood?

Just curious. I have some issues around some decisions I've made in my young adulthood that I'm working out and there are times when I think my Therapist might just be coddling me about it all. I guess I thought if I can blame myself — I can have some control over it. What I want is to feel a sense of agency. I don't want to feel like a "victim."

But what I began to see was that agency can be found in my own understanding of how this wrong happened to me. There were things I did that fell into place and made me vulnerable, but there are reasons I was in that place and no, it was not my fault.

Being vulnerable is NOT wrong. The person who hurt me took advantage of that — of me— was wrong.