You had me rendered speechless the first time I read your post... Trust me, that's no easy fete
I came back to it a few hours later and all I have so far is;

Why do you even stay with this guy????

Seriously, I'm sure you've focused on the negative because that's what brought you to PC, and it's what you need help with. But I assure you, that had you taken the time to list his redeeming qualities, it would never outweigh what you wrote in your post.

Not to me anyway.

I don't see the point in staying with someone who is emotionally abusive, manipulative, disrespectful, someone who has no use for common decency and lacks healthy boundaries, someone who blames me for their shortcomings, someone whom I can never relax around because helllloooo freaking eggshells, someone who doesn't believe I have a right to privacy, etc etc etc.

No amount of "love" could make me overlook all of that, not for long anyway.

Evidently I'm all done being speechless I hope you know you deserve better, from him and yourself.