Your thinking is very common, You are not alone, at all. We all "get it " here.

Its a journey to come to accept your diagnosis and learn to live a healthy happy life while Bipolar is part of it ( yes is possible) . If the "label" is too much for you to handle right now, that's okay just focus on the symptoms your Doctor is treating , Depression? or anxiety? etc.

Everyone's Bipolar is Unique and needs to be attacked from all sides.

I'm sorry that your education isn't helping you find a better job, So many people are in the same boat. Its horrible, I hope that something comes along that will of course pay more and also builds self esteem and pride.

For now? Be kind to yourself and remember that altho you may think your job is just about selling glasses, Your helping people find glasses that they will actually like to wear and look good in...

Do you see a Therapist ? Have they helped you learn coping skills? Weight gain from Psych meds is a huge problem for self esteem but also your health in general, I have struggled with it in the past. Maybe your Pdoc needs to make a change not all meds cause weight gain.

Be your own best advocate, speak up to your Pdoc and T , search out all the help you need and if you can't find the right words .. tell them that. Squeeky wheel does indeed get the most help.

Welcome to PC I hope you will find the information and support here to be helpful. You are not alone.