You know exactly what I'm saying, I've died I can't how many times. I mean, I could explain them all, but your point is exactly what I'm saying. I don't want to die, I just want this girl to come into my life and love me for me and just be my friend. Not my lover, not my sexual partner, but the best positive friend I can have in my life and when I'm ready I'll date her.
I am focused on my music job and career, I work with an indie label through interscope records and trying my hardest to be a young millionaire. I'm not financially irresponsible despite having to pay for bills that have made things a lot harder that my parents are in a financial hell hole. I want to make lots of money to help them pay it all off in one check and tell them. You can do what you want with your life, I cleared your debt and enough money to get you mom to retirement comfortably and you dad to focus on being with family and doing what you want to do with your life and so you don't have to die on the job as he quotes.
I have a gay uncle who is married, I was there at the wedding and it was so amazing. I felt my dream was have a lesbian wedding, but when I say it. I don't get the best responses, but I'd love to move to southern cali. Work with my music contacts out there , indirectly and directly. Make my life something and just being me.
I just read an article about transgenderism and this PHD surgeon was explaining on his anecdotal responses on body dysmorphia and gender dsyphoria coming from shame and that it's not biological and he is very active on his comments. I made a comment explaining my story that, I was supposed to be born a girl. This is really the truth my mother had two twin girls, but two weeks later after saying that. My twin sister died from a miscarriage and the ultra sound specialist saw I'm still alive and I'm a boy. I was the stronger fetus and I have a female hip bones under my male body. I know I'd have some cute curves/waistline, toothpick legs and bonier build on me. I would have long thick hair dirty blonde or brunette and I'd die it every once in awhile. I'd have some piercings and wear trendy torn up tshirts that show some shoulder skin. My boobs wouldn't be that amazing, at the most a B cup. Realistically I could see them being at the most a double A.
If you saw me in person you wouldn't expect me to know all this for about myself in specifics. I'd spend time to put on make up wearing cute dresses and be a geek/classy/trendy girl. I'd love for boys and girls to comment how pretty I am, that mean the world to me.
I really like this girl, because I came out publicly on fb to friends of mine a week ago it was very hard, but she was super supportive and loved me for it. I really don't want to let her go, because she's a damn good friend I won't want to leave me. I'm afraid if she lost interest and she'd just stop talking to me and I feel like a phase instead of something lasting.
I'd believe you are exactly right, but how I go about it I'm not sure. I have enough experience in music, I thought I could land a job in sound design or music production. Just a normal sound designing job on top of my music career with edm music.
I just want to make enough money to live comfortable that's it. I don't want more or less. I wouldn't need to spend much, on myself currently and to add all that up. In me moving out again, I'd be saving so much money. I'm not a big spender and like the security of my finances there than feeling like I got to stress of not having it. I've gone through that hell and still going through it for awhile and I hate it. Worried about not having food, but wishing you were pretty enough or manly enough whatever for some girl to be sweeping me off my feet away for me to be emotionally comfortable with something instead of nothing. Like my little sister has with her bf in college. I'm beyond jealous of her, like she's completely arrogant and too ungrateful of a person to have what she has.
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