lol that made me giggle thanks. but its true, the useful things just arent so appealling

i used to be obsessed with bands etc when i was a teenager, but i thought that was a normal teenage thing, now im not so much, apart from playing the same songs/bands lot more than others but i wouldnt say there obsessions. now its all sorts of other things, sometimes "objects" (?) that i cant buy for whatever reason or if i do i waste money on them just to get rid of them a few weeks later...

i am not really a collecter its just that i have/had terrible self control when i see something i like. i will admit i've been a bit more stricter now though, prob after having a £2000+ credit card bill and almost half of that was interest. after getting that paid off i realised i cant let that happen again

i've tried meditation but i just cant do it, i get too irritable. and i dont think im obsessing to avoid anything, it seems to be totally out of my control (just like the things i obsess about) its like an addiction i need to feed then other stuff gets neglected. important stuff. for the most part though it is just thinking, well now at least, because i am trying not to give this nonsense too much attention. its just really hard and frustrating, but i want to be free of these obsessions/addictions so i can just function normally