Hello there.

I have come to write about the relationship between my boyfriend and I and the stress that aspects of this and other areas of life cause me.

I am only 20 years old and so is my boyfriend and we have been together for a year now although I have known him for 5 years. Before we were together we both had separate relationships but were friends but something was always there between us. Eventually he split up with his girlfriend and a year later I did with my boyfriend. During this time we started to speak again and finally started seeing each other. Whilst we were seeing each other my now boyfriend went out and kissed another girl and somebody told me. At the time I was very upset but eventually dismissed it as we were not official, but to me it was still hurtful. Plus he has had a lot of sexual partners which goes through me since he said he did it because he was upset that I was still with my ex boyfriend and he wanted me and it upset him.

Now over a year later he is the most caring person I have ever met and will do anything for me, but if anything happens even a little argument then everything in the past just comes back to me and winds me up and I can't let go of it.

To make matters worse I've moved to another city for University and I dislike living there which puts even more pressure on me, causing me to be unhappy about everything

Also this new year one of my boyfriend's exes became friends with his friends because she is friends with one of my boyfriend's friend's girlfriend if that makes sense? So they all stayed over at their big house where my boyfriend lives and he didn't stay there because she was there which makes me feel even worse because they've now made friends with her and they barely make effort with me.

Everything is adding up and causing me great stress and it's affecting my boyfriend and I up to the point where all these little things are making me start to dislike him when I really do love him. His ex becoming friends with his friends isn't his fault but still makes me feel horrid about myself and I hate the thought that she will become good friends with them all. His friends are immature and wouldn't see that it makes us feel uncomfortable.

We have both become that stressed about things that have eaten away at me that we can barely act normal anymore but I want it to be

How can I help myself?

Can I also add that the stress has made me prone to panic attacks and all sorts. I feel like I am going crazy

It is also giving me panic attacks all this stress