Ok, so here's an update for anyone who's interested (I know I don't technically belong on PC, but I do care about the people here and I wonder how people are doing when they don't post, so this is in case anyone's wondering).

On NYE I went to the police and confessed to faking everything and benefit fraud, because they'd escalated things by taking Max and I didn't want them to hurt him or anyone else (they still have him). I thought that if I confessed and went to prison everything would be ok after I got out. But apparently that's not the aim of all the torture because the Govt & Police both denied investigating me, and they called my parents and insisted I went to A&E (ER) with them (or the veiled threat was that they'd section 136 (forced MH assessment) me and take me themselves).

So I went and spent 10 hours in A&E on NYE and saw the on-call pdoc and the crisis team. The on-call pdoc threatened to section me (I've had a virus over Xmas and lost my appetite and lost 9lbs), but I told him that was a stretch and he knew it. So he tried several times, my Mum included, to persuade me to voluntarily go inpatient, but I refused, both because it's pointless and because I will never voluntarily agree to that kind of abuse.

Anyway so in the end I agreed to the crisis team visiting each day (which is the most pointless activity ever, whether you have a MI or not, because they make you wait in all day for them and then ask the same Qs every day that they already know the answers to because they've read the notes, and somehow they magically think that's going to help!?), even though I'm not ill or in crisis, just so we could go home the early hours of NY day because I figured they'd be bored of me/speak to my ex-CMHT and discharge me within a week or so. And that's what has happened: saw the crisis team pdoc today and he's discharged me with no follow up.

My ex-pdoc has told me that they want me to kill myself, but she won't say why or engage in any kind of compromise (i.e. the Govt doing it and making it look like suicide or an accident, which I know they are more than capable of doing), so I'm currently stuck in limbo. I'm seeing T tomorrow for the first time in 3 weeks and I'm going to ask him. I'm not certain if he's involved, but I hope so because that means I might be able to get some answers.

Anyway, that's my update. Hopefully it'll be resolved soon. I hope that you all had a good Xmas and NY

PS: Loial - thanks for my Xmas kitty! It was very cute!

*Willow*