It sounds to me as though you just want others to stop telling you how to think and feel.
It sounds like your parents don't know "how" to listen to you and validate you, but consistently need to tell you how to feel and think.

One very unfortunate thing about many people is their lack of ability to know how to "listen". Often people seem to just need to "instruct" and insist on talking over others and telling them how to think and feel or not to feel.

I touched on that with my therapist who agreed about how so many simply do not know how to actually "listen". Your sister means well, unfortunately her effort is to get you to "do" instead of you making that choice yourself.

That is why you like to write poems, because that allows you to express yourself, that is why there are so many poems and songs and is really the driving force behind the arts.

Unfortunately, one thing so many parents think they need to do is "instruct their children" and "get them to follow orders" and "behave". They don't realize that it is their job to "listen" and learn about their child and help that child "self discover and know self discovery is ok and acceptable". Because so many parents seem to think they need to be "in control", what they don't realize is this style of raising a child is a recipe for "depression". Structure is ok, even healthy, but it is also very important to have freedom within that structure too.

That is why you want to be "alone" and yet you are "lonely" too. Well, a lot of people are like that unfortunately, and the bottom line is that what they really want is someone who knows how to "listen to them" and not tell them how to feel and think.

It sounds like you are still young yet too, still living at home and your parents tend to still tell you who to be, how to see things, how to feel and they never really learned the importance of "just listening to you". Well, that "is" wearing and you are not the only one struggling as a result of that challenge. It also sounds like that has expanded into where you work as well, which can happen in a way where a person is not aware they are relating the two together into that "depressed mindset".

Part of slowly addressing that is recognizing what it really is first. Laying on your bed all day, being alone is definitely expressing what I am discribing. That is something that a person does when they are "oppressed", but they don't always realize it. What you need to do is find something where "you" feel in control, that is what opens the door to actually feeling better, "alive". You obviously love to "create", so my suggestion is to find an outlet where you can add to that and learn to help that part of you grow.