Hi Songofthesouth, welcome to PC!!!
It sounds like you're going through a really hard time right now, I'm sorry
It can sometimes seem like everything is just too much........and the thought of even another day of it........but sometimes sharing, talking about things and getting some real help/support with your feelings/what's going on for you can make things seem very different in time.
So, there are lots of really understanding, non-judgemental, supportive people around if you can just share whatever you can...........we're here for you. You're not alone in this.

Alison