I'll go into more detail...

I have all the information now, right? I can view the big picture of "my" life. I got it!

However, there's little feeling attached and these things can still kick my bottom and trigger old defensive responses due to feelings the might begin to come. I don't have the experience as a whole in other words and can still respond as I always did...though to a MUCH lesser extent.

It seems that the part of my brain that processes almost anything in regard to feeling combined with trauma is malfuntioned...lol. There's the fear and freeze response...then there I sit with nothing going further.

I know this can be helped because I used to be this same way with even just a picture memory.

I've heard that EMDR can greatly help with the processing of trauma as a whole...which is still and issue with me.

KD