Oh wow... that sounds really rough. I don't have kids, but I've had some issues the last few nights that screwed up my sleeping, and even with 5 hours of sleep, it's just not enough for me personally. Multiply that by a couple nights, and I can't function at all - I end up with bad headaches and exhaustion. So, I'm not sure how you guys are doing it.

I think your desire to have a better plan makes sense, and it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that you can't get up earlier and stay up later. You're already stretched thin. I'm sure your wife is too...

Do you have any extended family that could help out? Even if just for a few hours during the day for your wife to sleep? I know she doesn't think she sleeps well during the day, but she probably needs the sleep, whenever she can get it.

I'm so sorry... I hope that things get better soon!