Hi. I am new to this so please bear with me. I am a 48 yr female and have been with my therapist for almost 3 yrs. He also goes to my church and I have met his wife and so on many times and chatted with them. I became deeply, deeply attached to him and I wanted him to to love me like I love him. This includes sexual feelings. I realize though that he is married and my therapist and so on but I kept feeling this guy genuinely liked me. We have discussed many times how we would be friends the moment I was no longer his patient. One day I got the nerve to ask him if he loved me and he said he did. Eventually I asked him if he did not have his wife and I was not his patient would he date me and he said no. I asked him why and he said it was because of how I looked. I was absolutely devastated because not merely do I have a crush on him but the main goal in my therapy has been for me to feel better about myself. I know it sounds really stupid, all this, but I almost commit suicide over his remark. Seriously. I am not joking or exaggerating about my response. I cannot bear the idea of leaving him but I am miserable everytime I see him now. Even when I feel decently before the session I know feel deeply depressed by the end of it because I feel ugly and unloved. Thanks for reading this.