Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpiosis37
I tend to be on the other side of things. I get so many messages from people (text, email, fb) that I often feel overwhelmed. I feel so much pressured to respond-- even when I don't want to or don't have time to. I would say that if you are always the one initiating the messages-- and your friend is not initiating any contact-- then it may be a sign that she is distancing herself from the friendship, for whatever reason (too many other commitments, other friends who are closer, too many hours at work, etc). When someone is feeling overwhelmed and pressured, the LAST thing they want is even more messages or a guilt trip for not responding. That is probably the fastest way to push someone away. I know not hearing back from a friend sucks, but it sounds like she is busy and has other commitments or relationships that she is prioritizing right now. Do you have other friends you can reach out to instead?
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I assumed this as well. I said that, if it was her way of distancing from our friendship, I understood and would leave it at that. I also gave other options for communication.
It isn't as though I message/text this person every day or even every week. I don't have the time. But when I do, I would like a reply. It doesn't even have to be right away. But being ignored stinks.
She assured me that it was not her distancing, and that she is just a poor communicator, and that she knows she needs to work on it. She said that she really wants to remain friends--which we have been very close for 17 years--and so I agreed to do this. She said that she preferred texting over FB messaging, and so I complied. And still...it hasn't really gotten better. The main thing is that, when I am feeling overwhelmed and busy, I say so. And I say that I may not be getting back to her quickly, and etc. When she is feeling overwhelmed, I wouldn't know it because she doesn't tell me much of anything, even if I ask. She is getting better about it, I will admit. This isn't anything to do with me but rather her own issue which she's been dealing with for a long time.